By k. r. taylor

i am trying to heal / i mean i am still existing when i don’t want to be / i wrote a letter to you and burned it / i changed my coffee order to be less bitter / i called my mom to tell her i loved her / i threw away the letter you left on my dashboard / i cut my hair and watched the sunset / i never stopped listening to the music we sang together in my mercury / i added those songs to my “reminds me of ppl” playlist / i still cry over it all sometimes / but it’s not about you, really / i still have your contact in my phone / i’ve never reached out since you told me i deserved better / and i probably never will / i cleaned my windows / i didn’t care about the streaks / i realized i don’t really miss you / i don’t want to be with anyone else / and i don’t want to be with you / i go to the bookstore alone with headphones in / i listen to loud music / i laugh about your cats’ names / i take my sleep medication / i hold my little brother tight / i close my eyes and see myself before you were ever a part of me / before the nights on my bedroom floor / before the sand fell out of my hour glass / before i became loose change / i am not mad / i never was / i am trying to heal / and i am doing a damn good job.