In 2015, an astrologer friend of mine suggested that I do something unusual, that was to walk down the street, or a place I knew well during the day, at night— so I did, and it was a completely amazing experience. From there, I started experimenting with different techniques, mostly from religious traditions, looking for inspiration and answers. I was almost immediately attracted to Buddhism, and yoga, then the occult, astrology, tarot, Spiritualism, ghost hunters, all kinds of mythology, psychology, the Talmud, Kabbalah, and Shamanism. I also studied certain visual art/ists.
I had a real, lucid dream experience when I was completely deprived of my senses, without a voice, alone in silence and total darkness— with no sense of direction– and I was stuck– with no instructions on how to get myself unstuck– the only knowledge I had was how infinitely long I would be stuck there. I tried to create an exact replica of what I saw at the point I found freedom, with this painting/light installation.
In 2019, I travelled to Hollywood for a job interview and ended up living in the Hollywood Hills for several months. I lived right underneath the Mulholland Dam and – I walked around the Hollywood Reservoir almost daily. When I landed at LAX it was night, and I couldn’t see anything from the car I was in and, I will never forget my first day exploring the Hollywood Hills– I thought I was in paradise—it genuinely seemed like paradise.
Filming in LA is ubiquitous (at least it was before Covid), and one day found myself in the middle of Bosch, season 6. I’m fascinated by the entertainment industry, and the process of creating tv/films and am trying to find work as a background actor.
I think my photo pairs well with the painting. There is so much wealth and history in Hollywood— it is a place where dreams come true and its a haunted place where dreams turn into nightmares. Its gritty and dangerous and strange. I had some truly terrifying and unforgettable experiences, met wonderful people, saw celebrities and—I on one of my daily walks around the neighborhood, was actually mistaken for a celebrity by a tour van—which was one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.
In May of 2020, I drove across the US, moving from MA to West Hollywood— I got into my apartment exactly one day before the riots began which, started about two blocks from where I was living. I found myself situated in the middle of a war zone and despite the chaos, I somehow safely managed to navigate my way through it and was a part of something incredibly powerful. Los Angeles is my true home.
