Proud Liability

By L.Deepwater

Every time I have a panic attack

I ask the question:

Do I talk to someone?

Do I dare ask for help and in the process open myself up for harm?

Do I dare bother them with the wasteful banter that I use to hide my insecurities?

So I stay silent and pray for a savior —

Someone to scoop up the wounded, damaged child in my mind

And carry them to safety–

But I stay quiet because I deserve this:

This is punishment for having free thought.

For believing I could learn to be better than those who came before me

In a world where children being better than their parents is looked down upon.

What place is there for a disabled child who wants to be better?

I was a liability before I was given a chance to prove I wasn’t

While the parents of disabled children are given praise for their bravery

The children are forgotten about.

And if I hear the word warrior to describe those parents again

Like we are a disease that must be fought, a scourge upon that world

Sent to infect the sad delusion the older generations have of the perfect family,

If I hear those words

I have just one thing to say:

“We are people too.”

We could be a part of those families if you would just allow it, But you don’t.

We are good for more than cheap political points and parental self pity.

“We are people too.”